{"id":1574,"date":"2026-04-11T18:16:51","date_gmt":"2026-04-11T22:16:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mutualgaze.com\/blog\/?p=1574"},"modified":"2026-04-30T22:21:13","modified_gmt":"2026-05-01T02:21:13","slug":"our-king","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mutualgaze.com\/blog\/2026\/04\/11\/our-king\/","title":{"rendered":"Our King"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

After dinner the mad king in a benevolent haze decides to save the humans in a far away country from their malevolent dictators, but they don\u2019t know how to be saved, and this annoys him, for he is the after all the Great Savior, he has been elected by the greatest country in the known world, so he screams and rants from his throne, and threatens to bomb the far away country back to the Stone Age if its malevolent dictator won\u2019t pay to be saved. If they don’t agree to his demands (what a deal!) he will install his son, not their sons, his son, the one with the lions in Nairobibibi,  and then he gathers his cabinet of sages, they wait hours around the long oval table in the War Room, a room glittering with the spoils of all the countries afraid of being bombed back to the Stone Age: gold golf clubs, gold pated Lion skulls, an airplane on the lawn, and when he finally arrives, kingly in his trucker cap, the white one, they stand, they bow, they chant, they wish him a hundred years of prosperity (a gift of 3 mil) and bombing (costs $9000k) and they wish him honey in the heart (price tag $5mil).  Sit, he says, and they do, they sit and he says stand, so they all stand, clap he says, and they clap, three more times, they do that and he picks up a megaphone and shouts the order to bomb that country into the Stone Age, he’ll say it in their ridiculous Stone Age language, reading from his prompter, aneya ra bambaran konid ta bah asr hajr bargardand, <\/em>I mean, who talks like that, and while you\u2019re up, he says, wiggling his fingers, and I\u2019m talking to you, Department of Righteousness, how about you deport all those lefties to let\u2019s say Cubaahahh? Do it, I don\u2019t care if you do, but it is a  terrible country, Cubaahahh is already in the Stone Age so how about we bomb them back to the age before that, there was one, right? What? Speak up. Bombardearlas de nuevo a la Edad de Piedra, <\/em>is how they say this in Spanish? Tell me how to say it in Cuban. What? You\u2019re a bad person, of course there’s a Cuban language, it doesn’t even sound like Spic-ness or, I don’t know, no one understands it, ha ha, they are all living in garbage. Americans, we were here first, way before the Cubanaahahh’s or the Mexicos, like Palm Beach I\u2019m telling you, speak louder, you\u2019re a terrible reporter,  that\u2019s a terrible answer, I don\u2019t like you, this is our planet, humans came with it, not the dogs, no, I don\u2019t like the dogs, if you want to send them with those awful liberals to Cubaaajahh I don\u2019t care,  they are such bad dogs, the whole country is bad, terrible, they do terrible things, all those Democrats who want to go to that terrible country let\u2019s send them there, we have that Guantanamo or whatever, I don’t care, but if you do then we can bomb all those the suckers right back to before the Stone Age. I don’t know, that Island was part of us then, it just broke off back then, maybe don\u2019t bomb them, let\u2019s just kill all the people there, yes, save the architecture, I like some the buildings, they looks like Mara Lago –  and I don\u2019t need a reason for that—(the screen blanks out for a few moments, when it lights up again we see several reporters being dragged out the back door by their hair while he is still talking) although at this very moment most important peace talks are happening with countries who are very good allies with us, I like them very much, <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He waves and exits trailing an American flag while behind him a huge screen materializes where an swollen cloud darkens and rises, we see huge blocks of concrete flying through the air, we see turbans and Gutras and Shayla\u2019s flying through the massive cloud of dust, we see school books, sneakers and back packs and cooking pots, we see parts of cars (the screen pauses for long enough so we can see the Xpeng<\/a> logo flash over an ejected seat,) we see the face of our King materializing through the dust and then this message flicks on the screen  THANK YOU FOR PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reading\/film short List: The Autumn Of The Patriarch (Gabriel Garc\u00eda M\u00e1rquez<\/strong><\/mark>.), Blindness (Jos\u00e9 Saramago<\/strong>), the Iranian film “It Was Just An Accident, (Jafar Panahi\u00a0<\/strong>) Sirat (Oliver Laxe<\/strong>)….. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After dinner the mad king in a benevolent haze decides to save the humans in a far away country from their malevolent dictators, but they don\u2019t know how to be saved, and this annoys him, for he is the after all the Great Savior, he has been elected by the greatest country in the known … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Our King”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1574","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mutualgaze.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1574","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mutualgaze.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mutualgaze.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mutualgaze.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mutualgaze.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1574"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/mutualgaze.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1574\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1589,"href":"https:\/\/mutualgaze.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1574\/revisions\/1589"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mutualgaze.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1574"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mutualgaze.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1574"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mutualgaze.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1574"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}